This Gig Is A Lot Harder Than You Imagined, Isn't It?
I know it is, because I'm still knee deep in it myself! And if I'm being honest, I probably created this space as much for me as for you. It’s the resource I needed and didn’t find. It’s the support I wanted and couldn’t get. It’s the community I craved of authentic, creative, brilliant, accomplished humans willing to explore the whole range of emotions that come with parenthood (sometimes all at the same time!) and aren't afraid to admit it.
Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the parenting “shoulds” that get thrown at us the minute we join the club. Maybe you're secretly afraid that you're getting it all wrong. Maybe you're craving the comfort that comes with hearing someone else whisper alongside you, "me too", the comfort of feeling seen and heard by those on the same journey as you. Maybe you're just feeling exhausted, tapped out and in need of something more. A whole lot more for that matter.
I've been there — we all have. And we all want the same things too:
But can I also just acknowledge the one thing we all know to be true?
To find more joy, ease & magic in our motherhood & parenting journey.
To feel less overwhelmed & exhausted (hello sleep deprivation!).
To find more patience & compassion for our kiddos & our partners.
To find more patience, love & compassion for ourselves.
To find our villages of support, those safe and supportive spaces that will carry us forward on our hardest of days and bear witness to our stories, our joys & our pain on those days when it all feels oh so hard.
There is so much that goes unsaid and unseen on the road to parenthood.
But YOU deserve to be seen. You deserve to live out your wildest dreams. To live out your parenting journey as everything you always imagined it to be. And to rewrite your story as many times as it takes to fill your soul with the magic & wonder you seek.
That is my wish for you.
Honours BA in Psychology from York University
MScOT in Occupational Therapy from The University of Toronto
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (and CBT-I), Emotion Focused Therapy, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Internal Family Systems, Mindful Self-Compassion, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Postpartum Support International Maternal Mental Health Training,
Infant & Toddler Sleep Specialist with Isla Grace, Pilates Certification (with Pre & Postnatal Training) with Body Harmonics, Sensory Modulation with Kim Barthel,
Morning coffee, peanut butter & honey on toast, cuddles with my son, lighting my fancy candle, putting on some Fleetwood Mac and dancing around my living room during naptime (when it happens, which, let's be honest, is not a guarantee these days!)
I know you don’t feel like a rebel — are rebels this tired all the time? But you’re here, and you are. We’re all silently fighting against the stories of what parenthood looks like, the modern expectations for mothers to “do it all” and the systems that make it so very hard to get it all "right".
I’m talking about the barely there postpartum and mental health support, the loss of the village that was meant to hold us up on our hardest of days, the expectations and messages that make it impossible for us to not feel like we're failing.
Not to mention the myriad of stressors and traumas that can come up along our journey, starting from infertility, to infant loss, to traumatic and stressful pregnancies and births, to equally traumatic postpartum experiences. The inevitable changes to our bodies, our relationship with ourselves, our relationship with our partner. And so much in between.
And if we happen to have any history of childhood trauma or emotional neglect, or just happen to be more highly sensitive than most, with nervous systems that are more attuned, that feel things more deeply, and are more prone to getting overwhelmed, it can make an already stressful transition feel that much more overwhelming.
As a therapist, I went into motherhood prepared with a massive toolkit of coping skills and years and years of mental health training and research at my fingertips - and motherhood still knocked me sideways!
Like you, we had our own challenges along the way. Colic, reflux, a tongue tie that was never properly diagnosed, breastfeeding challenges and all the shame that came with that. I had tear that took months to heal (TMI?!) and a diastasis 5 fingers wide (I birthed an almost 10lb baby, so there's that, lol). It was hard my friends. Beyond hard.
And as a mama to a highly sensitive kiddo, I was totally unprepared for the fact that there were kids who cried more, slept less, and needed more help to regulate their nervous systems than most. That it would be impossible to leave my house in those early months, because he'd cry in the stroller, in the car, in every mom & baby group I attended - like I said, it was hard.
But here’s the thing: I had the benefit of all of my training and education, as an occupational therapist and a psychotherapist, plus fifteen years of doing my own healing work prior to becoming a parent. I was actually very well prepared. As prepared as anyone could be.
But the truth is, this gig is rigged. We're often setup for failure (not enough physical, social & mental health support, not enough education around normal infant & toddler development) and we're led to believe that it's somehow our fault.
It's not your fault.
It's just that hard.
Especially when we're trying to tough our way through it on our own.
But I'm here to tell you that you don't have to do it alone.
Where I stand on the super important stuff... Agree / disagree?
So let’s talk about finding the right kind of support, because that can be a minefield too.
How can you know if your traditional therapist or coach will dismiss your concerns (it happens more often than we know)?
How do you know if you’re struggling with PPA/PPD/PTSD or just sleep deprivation?
How can you find compassionate, reasonable support in making parenting decisions when it feels like you’re choosing between your own wellbeing and your child’s?
How can you manage those symptoms of anxiety or depression or overwhelm that are keeping you up at night?
How can we create space to talk about your childhood traumas and the surprising ways they're showing up in your parenting journey?
How can you reclaim your motherhood story after the fertility, pregnancy, birth or postpartum trauma you experienced?
I promise that I will never dismiss you.
I will be the first to tell you if you probably just need sleep, or maybe need something more.
And I’ll say this right now, straight out: I will prioritize your mental health and wellbeing, so you can show up for your kids in the most joyful, inspiring and loving ways. Which is what we all want, isn't it?
A whole new direction for my professional life emerged after I became a mother. A labour of love if you will. And it's my hope to be able to support and empower parents (mothers & fathers) who are struggling with their own transitions to parenthood — because we all deserve to feel a little less alone.
I'm here to help you reimagine your parenting journey, to heal from the hard stuff, and to reclaim the joy & magic you deserve
And in doing so, I’m hoping we spark a revolution of resilient, connected, inspired and embodied parents working to create the healing, nurturing and loving spaces they desire for themselves & their families.